I just realized it's been over a year since I've been active on my own blog. Let me tell you: I simply forgot about it.
Tonight I logged on because, in fact, I wanted to create a new blog on a completely different matter. And there it was, in bold letters: Fucking Europe. I have to admit that I had very strong feelings when I read my posts and lived through these experiences and the emotions connected with them again. And what was even a bigger surprise: I noticed I had followers and even some comments. Obviously, there were some people interested in my dirty escapades. And so I decided, it was indeed time for an update. I don't know if anyone will read and comment on this but actually I feel like it will be good for me to write it down, kind of like writing a diary ... or seeing a shrink ;)
So, after my try-out with Francis a couple of days passed and I had another meeting with Paul. Again we were in his beautiful house, sitting in his beautiful garden (being a pimp must be nice), talking about my first time and that I wasn't a "virgin" any longer haha :) Francis had been very positive about the "date" with me, too - so there were no obstacles to get started for real, which means putting myself completely "out there". After picking a nickname for me which was a lof of fun (kind of like creating a secret personality), we scheduled my trip to Germany, so I could meet with the photographer and shoot the pictures for my portfolio. I was SO excited about this. I mean, I have had photo shootings before for some small modeling jobs but this would be a whole day of shooting, only me and the photographer and most of the pictures in underwear or naked, so nothing would be hidden from the camera - all flaws exposed. I tried to prepare myself as good as possible. As I had almost one month until the shoot, I had plenty of time to exercise a lot, go running, swimming and get myself a nice tan. Also, I arranged different outfits that would work nicely.
The night before the shooting was hell - I was so damn excited and I hardly slept. It's funny because before the date with Francis I was relatively relaxed and now these jitters! I felt sick to my bones for hours - until I finally met with the photographer in Germany the next day. But from the moment we shook hands and said Hello, everything was fine again. We discussed the clothes I had brought with me, discussed hair and make up and decided to start with some casual pictures to warm up. We spent the whole day shooting and I have to say (and I'm not exaggerating) that this was one of the most exhausting days in my life. My muscles were sore from all the posing. I had never expected that keeping the right posture would be that important, so all in all in could be compared to a 6 hours intensive Yoga class - with weights and in the sauna :) But it was worth it. At the end of the day, we selected the pictures we liked the most and that were most suitable for the portfolio. The photographer had been doing this a dozen times for Paul already, so he was very helpful and told me what clients were usually looking for in the portfolio.
48 hours later my pictures were online. I have to say that I was very satisfied with them. They had been photoshopped a bit but not as much as I expected. No slimming down of my figure or whatsoever. Sure there were some changes with the light exposure and my skin was made more flawless on the pictures but my body stayed without changes and that was great because I liked it nevertheless and I had been afraid of the results in the first place.
I still remember how I was sitting in front of my computer and staring at my escort profile for hours. Next to other beautiful and sexy women, here I was, one of them. Apart from the pictures, there was a description of myself and, of course, the price list. I was in awe. Back then, I could not believe that someone would pay that money just for a couple of hours with me. Soon I came to realize how it would really feel like.
Mittwoch, 28. Dezember 2011
Sonntag, 13. Juni 2010
My first time
Now I'm officially a whore. I slept with a complete stranger and he gave me money for it. How does it feel? I still don't know how to put it although some time has already passed. But in the end I have to say that it felt natural. I went home after and I was in a good mood. Not because of the money. But because it felt natural.
It all started with an e-mail from Paul. Some people would call him a pimp but actually he just runs the agency I work with, he picks the "models" and arranges meetings between them and the clients. Ah and he takes a provision of 40%. So he probably is a pimp indeed. However, I don't look at him that way. I even like him, find him quite sympathetic - he's pretty young, just a little bit older than I am. When I met him the first time, I was very surprised. In this business you have a certain clichee in your mind about the people that work there. But concerning Paul this clichee was completely wrong. He's a very nice, handsome and polite young man. He doesn't look like a pimp at all - actually he could be rather described as one of those preppy boys from a rich family, wearing polo shirts and loafers all the time and going sailing in their spare time. But the most important thing: I trust him. He makes me feel comfortable and he makes me feel like I'm doing a respectable job.
So I got this e-mail from Paul, suggesting to meet with a regular client, Francis. There was a short description of Francis (in his 50s, regular build, well-respected company manager) and a feedback another girl had written after her date with him (he's fond of oral, giving and receiving, a rough lover). Look, you even get briefed about your clients, isn't that very professional? ;) Francis also knew that this would be my first time, obviously he even was very much into being the first! Was I excited. Yes, a little. But I was more excited when I did my driver's test or my A-levels. Although all this was new terrain for me it felt quite unspectacular.
Francis and I were supposed to meet at the Sheraton, in the hotel bar, in the afternoon. Let me tell you the one and only thing that made me feel uncomfortable about it all: When I walked into the bar, with big hair, great make-up, a sexy but tasteful dress and high heels, all the hotel staff looked at me. I could tell that they were curious about me, that they tried to figure me out. But when I sat down with Francis, an older man with white hair and obviously rich, everything was clear. From that moment on, everyone could tell that I was a hooker. And that was the moment, I hated about the job because it was so clear and without ambiguity. I was out there.
We just spent about twenty minutes in the bar, chit-chatting and having a drink together (I still wonder how a man his age and status could have a 'Sex on the beach' but whatever). Francis was very nice and made me a lot of compliments. I almost hadn't eaten that day to feel skinny so after one glass of champagne I was already pretty tipsy and ready to get it on and get my clothes off. We went up to his room. And we had sex. For two hours we fucked, cuddled and talked, fucked, cuddled and talked. It was nice and weird at the same time. Nice because Francis made me feel good and although I didn't come while sleeping with him, blowing him and him going down on me it felt natural. Nice because we cuddled and talked like we've already known each other for a long time. Weird because everytime I opened my eyes, I saw this older man with white hair and his pale, untrained body all over myself. Weird because I wondered how one minute he could give me the anal finger and another minute caress my hair and be all nice and sweet again. But I don't judge. I was there to please him and I did. When we were finished, he gave me 450 Euro and left.
Before doing this I was afraid that I would have a nervous breakdown or anything similar after my first client. I expected it to be mental stress and that I would need to recover from it. But I didn't. I went home in a good mood (altough the champagne had already worn off), flirted with a very cute suit-guy on the subway (and realized I would appreciate young lovers much more from that day on) and had a very normal rest of the day. I didn't even shower! I think that shows best how at ease it all felt. I didn't feel dirty, I didn't feel used, I was just fine. And maybe that was the moment when I realized that I had talent for this.
It all started with an e-mail from Paul. Some people would call him a pimp but actually he just runs the agency I work with, he picks the "models" and arranges meetings between them and the clients. Ah and he takes a provision of 40%. So he probably is a pimp indeed. However, I don't look at him that way. I even like him, find him quite sympathetic - he's pretty young, just a little bit older than I am. When I met him the first time, I was very surprised. In this business you have a certain clichee in your mind about the people that work there. But concerning Paul this clichee was completely wrong. He's a very nice, handsome and polite young man. He doesn't look like a pimp at all - actually he could be rather described as one of those preppy boys from a rich family, wearing polo shirts and loafers all the time and going sailing in their spare time. But the most important thing: I trust him. He makes me feel comfortable and he makes me feel like I'm doing a respectable job.
So I got this e-mail from Paul, suggesting to meet with a regular client, Francis. There was a short description of Francis (in his 50s, regular build, well-respected company manager) and a feedback another girl had written after her date with him (he's fond of oral, giving and receiving, a rough lover). Look, you even get briefed about your clients, isn't that very professional? ;) Francis also knew that this would be my first time, obviously he even was very much into being the first! Was I excited. Yes, a little. But I was more excited when I did my driver's test or my A-levels. Although all this was new terrain for me it felt quite unspectacular.
Francis and I were supposed to meet at the Sheraton, in the hotel bar, in the afternoon. Let me tell you the one and only thing that made me feel uncomfortable about it all: When I walked into the bar, with big hair, great make-up, a sexy but tasteful dress and high heels, all the hotel staff looked at me. I could tell that they were curious about me, that they tried to figure me out. But when I sat down with Francis, an older man with white hair and obviously rich, everything was clear. From that moment on, everyone could tell that I was a hooker. And that was the moment, I hated about the job because it was so clear and without ambiguity. I was out there.
We just spent about twenty minutes in the bar, chit-chatting and having a drink together (I still wonder how a man his age and status could have a 'Sex on the beach' but whatever). Francis was very nice and made me a lot of compliments. I almost hadn't eaten that day to feel skinny so after one glass of champagne I was already pretty tipsy and ready to get it on and get my clothes off. We went up to his room. And we had sex. For two hours we fucked, cuddled and talked, fucked, cuddled and talked. It was nice and weird at the same time. Nice because Francis made me feel good and although I didn't come while sleeping with him, blowing him and him going down on me it felt natural. Nice because we cuddled and talked like we've already known each other for a long time. Weird because everytime I opened my eyes, I saw this older man with white hair and his pale, untrained body all over myself. Weird because I wondered how one minute he could give me the anal finger and another minute caress my hair and be all nice and sweet again. But I don't judge. I was there to please him and I did. When we were finished, he gave me 450 Euro and left.
Before doing this I was afraid that I would have a nervous breakdown or anything similar after my first client. I expected it to be mental stress and that I would need to recover from it. But I didn't. I went home in a good mood (altough the champagne had already worn off), flirted with a very cute suit-guy on the subway (and realized I would appreciate young lovers much more from that day on) and had a very normal rest of the day. I didn't even shower! I think that shows best how at ease it all felt. I didn't feel dirty, I didn't feel used, I was just fine. And maybe that was the moment when I realized that I had talent for this.
Sonntag, 30. Mai 2010
Finding the right agency
So, I did it. I met with an agency. Thought that would be harder. I did some research on the internet and finally found an agency that seemed high-class and very professional to me. After sending them some pictures, they invited me to their office to get to know me. I must admit: I was pretty excited before I arrived there. There were so many thoughts in my head: Will it be a serious one? Will I have to talk to an actual "pimp"? Will they kidnap me and sell me into white slavery? In the end, it was all very casual. Actually, we were sitting in garden, in the sun, having a drink and talking business. I even felt quite comfortable, as if I was having something between a date, a coffee with a friend and a job interview. After what felt like hours of talking and sharing a lot of intimate details (Are your breasts natural? Would you do anal? How about having a threesome with two girls and a guy? Which I all answered with Yes :)), I even got kind of a contract. It took me some days to digest what had just happened. I somehow couldn't believe that I had really taken that step.
My "pimp" in spe explained me how we would move along from this meeting: First of all, he would have to find me a first "date". Preferably, a regular client he's familiar with and that would be the ideal volunteer for me. He also explained that a lot of his client were actually looking for that kind of experience, which means "being the first". It's funny, isn't? You're a whore but they treat you like a virgin. So, after some first "try-outs" I would have to decide if I want to keep on doing this. If I was escort material and had "talent", they would send me to Germany to meet with their photographer and do a professional shooting for the website. I already took a look at the other girls there and I have to say that it's all sexy but still very tasteful. My pimp also said the shooting costed 1000 EUR and I had to contribute 50% to it. THIS was the one thing that made me a little bit suspicious. I mean, why do I have to pay for the shooting? I'm not a regular in this business so I really don't know what to think about it. Anyway, we'll see. After the shooting my pictures would go online and then ... $$$ ... Well, actually my pimp explained to me that the summer time was always difficult with clients! WTF? Honestly said, I'm a bit pissed. Our meeting was over a week ago and still nothing. Not that I am too keen to throw myself on the next stranger and have sex with him for money but as long as I don't do it, I won't believe that this is really happening. Also, I haven't had sex for over a month now and it feels like forever. And though all this has been going so smooth I feel a little bit uneasy. I'm under the impression that something's not right. I mean how long do I have to wait until my first client comes along? And once I'm in the business will it be like this all the time?
My "pimp" in spe explained me how we would move along from this meeting: First of all, he would have to find me a first "date". Preferably, a regular client he's familiar with and that would be the ideal volunteer for me. He also explained that a lot of his client were actually looking for that kind of experience, which means "being the first". It's funny, isn't? You're a whore but they treat you like a virgin. So, after some first "try-outs" I would have to decide if I want to keep on doing this. If I was escort material and had "talent", they would send me to Germany to meet with their photographer and do a professional shooting for the website. I already took a look at the other girls there and I have to say that it's all sexy but still very tasteful. My pimp also said the shooting costed 1000 EUR and I had to contribute 50% to it. THIS was the one thing that made me a little bit suspicious. I mean, why do I have to pay for the shooting? I'm not a regular in this business so I really don't know what to think about it. Anyway, we'll see. After the shooting my pictures would go online and then ... $$$ ... Well, actually my pimp explained to me that the summer time was always difficult with clients! WTF? Honestly said, I'm a bit pissed. Our meeting was over a week ago and still nothing. Not that I am too keen to throw myself on the next stranger and have sex with him for money but as long as I don't do it, I won't believe that this is really happening. Also, I haven't had sex for over a month now and it feels like forever. And though all this has been going so smooth I feel a little bit uneasy. I'm under the impression that something's not right. I mean how long do I have to wait until my first client comes along? And once I'm in the business will it be like this all the time?
Samstag, 8. Mai 2010
Fucking Europe?
Yes. Fucking Europe. Literally.
The idea to create this blog has been in my head for some time. I want to share my thoughts, my ideas and my experiences with you, I want you to escort me on this journey I'm about to start. And I just spilled it: It's about being an escort.
The juicy thing is: I'm not an escort. Well, not yet. But I decided to become one. And I think that this could be much more interesting than the existing blogs where women tell their stories, especially their bad experiences and how they finally managed to get out of this industry.
This blog is going to tell the story from a different angle. It's not about warning girls not to start this kind of job. It's not about telling girls they should quit. It's not about trying to turn men on so that they become my clients.
It's about my journey and it's real. And it's just about to start. I'm excited, I'm afraid and I want to share this. I don't want to feel like I'm all alone. Maybe I'm just naive - but let's get started anyway.
I just moved to Brussels, the EUROPEAN CAPITAL, two months ago. Yes, I admit, this has inspired me to name my blog. Because literally, I will be fucking Europe. I don't have a clue about the escort business yet but I'm sure most of the clients are international business men or working in high positions within the EU. In short, people with money. But it's not only their money that I want.
There's another reason why I'm up to dive into this mysterious world. The MYSTERY. I have read a lot of blogs about this topic. I needed to do some research, not only for my professional engagement but as well because I wanted to get a glimpse what other women write about their experiences. Most of what I read was rather danting: Unexperienced, young girls, from a poor family background, with no education and sometimes even having kids and raising them on their own. They get into financial trouble and suddenly there's no other exit strategy than joining the escort business. They do it because they need to pay their rent or their kids' school - although they dislike having sex in general, and the thought of doing it with strangers makes them want to throw up. They despise the industry, they despise the other women that do this kind of work, they despise their clients. They do it anyway, for the money. Eventually, they get used to it and become a successful escort. But still their starting point is different from mine.
Of course the money plays a role in making this decision. But it's not the only reason. I'm not in a financial crisis, I actually have a great job and although it doesn't make me a millionaire it allows me to pay for my monthly expenses and even some luxuries like travel, furniture and designer clothing and acessories from time to time. If a stranger wanted to describe me, he would probably say that I look and I act like a young successful business woman coming from a good family. And this comes probably closest to who I am right now. Don't understand me wrong - I'm kind of happy with my life. I have a good job, a great family and friends and I mostly spent time on the sunny side of life. But still ... there's something wrong.
It's the certainty that if I continue to live my life like this not much will change nor happen. Every couple of years my salary will raise and I will probably get a bigger apartment or a house someday. My relationship will turn into a marriage and I will have kids. I will get promoted or transfer to a different company, having a leading position one day. And that's it.
I know - reading this the majority of people would say I'm nuts and that I should be happy and grateful. Is there something wrong with me? I don't think so. I'm just curious about this other secret world out there. All those men, being super rich and sometimes married with kids, having enough opportunities to sleep with attractive women all over the world - why do they book escorts? What do they see in escorts? Why don't they pick up a girl from the red light district, give her some money and have sex with her? Why book a girl for dinner, overnight stays or vacation?
It's an enthrallment for me. And I'm willing to let myself get consumed by it. Stay tuned.
The idea to create this blog has been in my head for some time. I want to share my thoughts, my ideas and my experiences with you, I want you to escort me on this journey I'm about to start. And I just spilled it: It's about being an escort.
The juicy thing is: I'm not an escort. Well, not yet. But I decided to become one. And I think that this could be much more interesting than the existing blogs where women tell their stories, especially their bad experiences and how they finally managed to get out of this industry.
This blog is going to tell the story from a different angle. It's not about warning girls not to start this kind of job. It's not about telling girls they should quit. It's not about trying to turn men on so that they become my clients.
It's about my journey and it's real. And it's just about to start. I'm excited, I'm afraid and I want to share this. I don't want to feel like I'm all alone. Maybe I'm just naive - but let's get started anyway.
I just moved to Brussels, the EUROPEAN CAPITAL, two months ago. Yes, I admit, this has inspired me to name my blog. Because literally, I will be fucking Europe. I don't have a clue about the escort business yet but I'm sure most of the clients are international business men or working in high positions within the EU. In short, people with money. But it's not only their money that I want.
There's another reason why I'm up to dive into this mysterious world. The MYSTERY. I have read a lot of blogs about this topic. I needed to do some research, not only for my professional engagement but as well because I wanted to get a glimpse what other women write about their experiences. Most of what I read was rather danting: Unexperienced, young girls, from a poor family background, with no education and sometimes even having kids and raising them on their own. They get into financial trouble and suddenly there's no other exit strategy than joining the escort business. They do it because they need to pay their rent or their kids' school - although they dislike having sex in general, and the thought of doing it with strangers makes them want to throw up. They despise the industry, they despise the other women that do this kind of work, they despise their clients. They do it anyway, for the money. Eventually, they get used to it and become a successful escort. But still their starting point is different from mine.
Of course the money plays a role in making this decision. But it's not the only reason. I'm not in a financial crisis, I actually have a great job and although it doesn't make me a millionaire it allows me to pay for my monthly expenses and even some luxuries like travel, furniture and designer clothing and acessories from time to time. If a stranger wanted to describe me, he would probably say that I look and I act like a young successful business woman coming from a good family. And this comes probably closest to who I am right now. Don't understand me wrong - I'm kind of happy with my life. I have a good job, a great family and friends and I mostly spent time on the sunny side of life. But still ... there's something wrong.
It's the certainty that if I continue to live my life like this not much will change nor happen. Every couple of years my salary will raise and I will probably get a bigger apartment or a house someday. My relationship will turn into a marriage and I will have kids. I will get promoted or transfer to a different company, having a leading position one day. And that's it.
I know - reading this the majority of people would say I'm nuts and that I should be happy and grateful. Is there something wrong with me? I don't think so. I'm just curious about this other secret world out there. All those men, being super rich and sometimes married with kids, having enough opportunities to sleep with attractive women all over the world - why do they book escorts? What do they see in escorts? Why don't they pick up a girl from the red light district, give her some money and have sex with her? Why book a girl for dinner, overnight stays or vacation?
It's an enthrallment for me. And I'm willing to let myself get consumed by it. Stay tuned.
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